my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
