I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
