I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
