U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
