Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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