Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
