Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize