Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
