can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
