we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
