I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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