that's an acceptable place to lick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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