Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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