great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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