im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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