she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
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FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead