just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
