There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.