we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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