it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
