I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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