We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
