My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
