only you would photoshop your dick
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
