Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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