With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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