my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will pee on everything he values.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize