worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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