Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Your penis caused this!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
