Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
false alarm, still single
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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