So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
