I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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