I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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