Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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