now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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