we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
