I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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