I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
