HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
