U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize