when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
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