Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
