fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
