I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
