Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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