just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
