hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
