I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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