woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
