is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
