her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
wow bdsm is so cute
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