I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There r osticjed everywhere
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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