I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
