I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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