HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
