Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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