she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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