what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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