you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As shirtless as possible
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
