I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
