Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
