I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
