We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
