I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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