he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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