Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
